Few years ago I was living a normal and happy life with my family at our home at the Damascus Rif (Oriental Ghouta) and I was doing all kind of normal activities: going to university, learning, walking, working, etc.

I had a wonderful family and we were really happy. Until the war started in Siria and the chaos did spread, even the chaos wasn´t all over Syria, but depending on the conflict area. I had bad luck because I was living at one of the hardest and hottest points.

I did try to move with my family to an other area outside the Rif. But the system prevented us to rent the house because we had a suspect card from the Damasco Rif. It was my destiny to get trapped there even it was a dangerous place. But my situation was the same as many other families that they got trapped there without been able to travel.  

After a period of time I moved to an other restricted region. Noone and nothing could get out or get in from there, even food and drinks couldn´t get in. As we use to say, they were stopping even a grain of rice. There was a total water and electricity interruption, the same with the media information and transport, and all the basic needs to live on. There was a lack of protection and security, and a constant sense of fear. With the proliferation of not natural deaths  as consequences of bloody attacks and missiles agains the cities and towns from Oriental Ghouta.

The blockage is still on today since the last four years. After a year from the beginning of the blockage  the food was finished all over the city and we started to eat the grass on the ground. Very little of us, the Sirians, we knew what was happening at the Damasco Rif or at the embattled  areas because the interruption of the comunication.

Is been exceeded all the red lines regards bombings, missiles and chemical weapons internationally forbbiden. There I was when 1500 kids were buried at the mass grave because the chemical weapons. I was working as a fisics teacher at the “Ayn trama” school.  The sadness flooded my heart for all those kids. They were only wishing to get out of the region because the horror they were living in, they didn´t want to go to Europe because the poverty. Like the people you can see here, this is our reality.

But my own story, among all those people, started on the firsts days of the Geneva Conference. I was at our house with my mother and my ten years old little brother; our flat was at the second floor of a building. My brother heard the sound of a fighter plane, and he did jump at my mum lap terrified. I did see an huge fear in his eyes, I haven´t been able to forget her terrified face. I didn´t hear the plane sound again, I didn´t hear the noise of the explosion either, I only did feel the house sinking and the collapse of the whole building on us.

I was trapped under the rubble trapped.  At the beggining I wasn´t undertanding anything, but slowly slowly I did unterstood what did happen. I though I will be there little time till die,  but my pain and my suffering extended. I started to wish the death at this moment because the great pain I was feeling. I couldn´t move, and there it was when I did started to ask God to die quickly to stop the suffering. I remembered my little brother, my mum and my sisters. I tryed to get closer to them but my unbearable pain was stopping me to move from were I was. I did hear my brother voice screaming and crying, I could hear the voices from the people around the house rubble as well. I started  shouting for the people to know where we were. One of them could find my location thanks to my screams and they started to dig between the rubble until I managed to get out alive, but all my family members were dead.

I had a huge pain but I couldn´t go to the doctor because I was at a place under siege. After numerous attempts, putting my life in danger again, I managed to get out of the siege and to go to Damascus where I did meet my university colleagues and relatives. They told me they saw me on television and at different Youtube channales when they were rescuing me from under my house´s rubble. At this moment I started to get very distressed and with lots of fear; that´s why I didn´t manage to keep my university studies and even less to go to the doctor, for security reasons.
And after all of this I should had gone to serve the. To help and fight with he army and the solders, the same that had killed all my family. The dead was easier for me that going to work with the ones who robbed me of my family.

I had to scape and go out from Syria to Turkey. And here I´m, trapped, without knowing what it will happen to me and what it will be of me.

Traductora: Eva Torras